It’s a dangerous world out there! At any given point in any given place, you could be attacked, mugged, kidnapped, or anything else horrible you can think of. Honestly, I don’t worry too much about these things though. To me, there is something that warrants MUCH more fear. I have a fear while travelling that has kept me up at night on more than one occasion. The fear of liking a town.
Now, you may be laughing at this point. How can LIKING something cause more fear than attacked or robbed?
Well, first off, you take proper safety precautions (or at least you should) to avoid being attacked or robbed while in less than safe countries (or any country for that matter). Discovering a new place that I really connect to is something I can’t anticipate. There is nothing I can do to protect myself from my feelings about a place. Okay. So, you’re probably still thinking I’m being ridiculous. Liking something isn’t bad or need to be protected from, right?
*SIDE NOTE* This post is about to go into my deep, dark, soul-searchy place.
Not having a home or a set place that I would always return to after my travels has given me the freedom to pick my home. And while I love being the master of my own destiny with little consideration of what other people think about it, it’s also a little nerve racking. The fact that I’ve never had a home before makes me nervous that I’ll forget to keep moving if I feel like I found one. I fear that I’ll suddenly become comfortable with that lifestyle. The years will tick by and I will miss out on my global goals of experiences and documenting live around the world in fear of losing that home once I take off again (in terms of being unable to acquire another visa to be there at a later date). This is my biggest fear.
How do people leave a place for long periods of time when they have a home? Sometime I wonder if I would be so keen on constantly moving to new countries for a year at a time if I actually felt at home in one of them. It’s a blessing and a curse. While I’m envious of those who found a place they belong, I’m scared I’ll find one of my own and not accomplish all my travel goals. Sometimes it seems like I’m plotting out my routes around the world so that the places I think I’ll like living in the most are last on my list. Though I can’t always follow my list. Sometimes opportunities pop up that would rearrange it. And even though I would never turn down any awesome opportunity to do or make something great, it still make me worried.
Basically, what it all comes down to is that finding a place I truly connect to would change everything I know about myself and life in general. It’s a scarey thought that everything you’ve ever known and the thing you based your life around can be changed unexpectedly and unintentionally. And for me, the thing that would flip my whole life upside down is finding a town I really like.