How to Protect Yourself during a Monkey Attack

Monkeys – playful, hairy, miniature humans. Cute and adorable… also vicious creatures that will attack you!!

I’ve already stated on this blog that monkeys be crazy where I briefly talked about how while visiting Monkey Forest in Bali a monkey bit me in the armpit (yea, of all places to be bitten – the fricken armpit). Thankfully, I escaped the incident without any injuries thanks to a local guy that was around.

monkey

NOT the monkey that bit me

Since this terrifying-at-the-time-but-now-hilarious event took place, I never shared how that Balinese man saved me from the monkey attack. Which I’m now thinking is good knowledge to have in case you find yourself in a similar situation. I have simplified the actions that took place into 4 easy to follow steps.

The 4 step process to protect yourself during a monkey attack:

Step 1 – Make sure the monkey isn’t actually on you. From my experience, making any quick movement will make the monkey jump off.

Step 2 – Pick up a near by leaf/stick/etc. If there isn’t a leaf/stick/etc. around you, I’d like to know where the hell you are getting attack by a monkey then.

Step 3 – Pretend that you are going to throw what you’ve picked up at the monkey. The monkey will think you are going to hurt it with the little “weapon” you’ve picked up (of course, you aren’t actually going to hurt the monkey because that’s mean).

Step 4 – Continue to pretend like you are going to throw the leaf/stick/etc. until the monkey runs away scared.

AND YOU ARE SAFE!!

Easy now that you know. So, if a monkey attacks you, you can save yourself from being bitten like I was.

NOTE: The purpose of this article is humour and entertainment. I have no real knowledge of how to protect yourself from a serious attack from any animal. This is just retelling my one experience. Remember that wild animals are just that – wild. Please take proper safety precautions when around animals

4 thoughts on “How to Protect Yourself during a Monkey Attack

  1. February 10, 2014 at 11:21 AM

    Great tips! Thanks for the chuckle. Although, this post did bring back memories of a monkey stealing my ice cream cone in Malaysia. They can be mean little things!

    1. meggiekay
      February 11, 2014 at 9:36 AM

      I didn’t have any problems with the monkeys in Malaysia. Though, I had a friend tell me that a Malaysian monkey ripped his friend’s backpack open! I was warned leaving my hostel to Batu Cave in KL that the monkeys there are mean so I’m not surprised by any of these stories.

  2. February 11, 2014 at 11:19 AM

    Hahh, this is funny.. well as long as you don’t actually get bitten! 😀

    I’ve been near monkeys here in Ghana and never felt they wanted to attach me, luckily, but just in case, I keep your tips in mind!

    1. meggiekay
      February 11, 2014 at 12:32 PM

      I was really surprised by the attack. I didn’t think much about it until I realized the monkey was moving towards me really fast.
      I actually got bitten but thanks to wearing a t-shirt and quick reflexes, the bit didn’t break skin so there was no injury (thankfully!). The area was just a little red for the day.

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